Baby vs Puppy

Terelle is besotted with this little Shih Tzu from a pet shop in Marine Parade.

Every chance she gets, she will rush headlong into the shop and stand in front of her little glass cage, making funny faces, jumping around and going "Awwwww...Coochie coochie coo".

She has christened the dog Leelo, tells me she wants to take her home and implores me to buy her. I tell her i have no money, and that she should go ask Daddy.

This is the conversation that ensued tonight.

T: Daddeeeee, i love Leelo...can u puhleaze buy her for me?

D: How much does Leelo cost?

T: Err one thousand...errrr five hundred and sixty...no eighty

(Im behind hubby, silently mouthing the words for her, she definitely doesnt know the concept of how much money this is)

D: Do you know how much money that is?

T: Not alot! You have money right?

D: Haha...how about we sell Baby away, then we can use that money to buy Leelo? What do you think?

*Terelle is stumped for words. You can literally see the cogs in her brain whirring furiously*

D: Yup if we sell baby away, he will go live with someone else, but they will give us money so that you can buy Leelo. You want that?

*More silence as she ponders the consequences of that option*

And then the clincher...

T: How bout you sell him away when he is grown up!

Hubby and I almost rolled off our chairs laughing...her loyalty to her brother only extends after he is all grown and has exhausted his usefulness of entertaining her!

Great insight on a kids' thoughts...hahaha...

Seeing red

My posts have all along been of the happy schmapy, la-di-da kind.


Well, this post aint gonna be so.


Have you ever been so angry that a red mist literally clouds your vision?

Your hands are shaking, your skin is burning and you just feel like screaming, throwing something, beating the daylights out of somebody? (not necesssarily in that particular order but maybe simultaneously)


Maybe its the culmination of too many "I dont like you, Mummy!" s from Terelle.
She rejects my good intentions and frequently peppers her sentences with declarations of not loving me anymore.
She shoots dagger stares at me when i get her to do things she doesnt like and is frequently rude and defiant.


Or maybe it's Thane's constant screamy demands, incessant whining which can last the entire duration of a car ride from home to destination and ridiculous fights with his sister that's doing my head in.


Or perhaps its hubby losing his temper one too many times, or him making snide remarks on trival matters or... i just dont know.

But i simply feel as though im losing it.


My tolerance level is almost zero and i feel myself losing control.

I can no longer sit there deflecting anger from everyone with patience and humor.
I cannot find a single ounce of energy left to do so.


A good friend who is also a stay-at-home-mum recently told me she got so angry with her son, she beat him with a hanger till it broke. It left marks all over his body and she felt so guilty over it she cried herself to sleep.
He's fine now, with nary a memory of why he got beaten in the first place, but my friend is appalled at the seemingly monstrous mum that she has become.

I am not capable of such release of my frustrations, and maybe that's why im going crazy inside. Maybe i should simply scream at them all, throw something around and basically let fly vitriol. Perhaps that will scare them a little and make them shape up.

I revolve my entire schedule around them, trying to make their lives as enriching as possible, scheduling my work only when it doesnt incovenience them.
And this is the thanks i get.

Admittedly, I have long accepted this job to be thankless and i do not harbor any lofty desires to be thanked for it.
Oh its supposed to be a selfless job you say?
But why do i feel no personal gratification from it?

Maybe im taking it all too personally. Im supposed to be raising happy, well mannered and adorable kids and not surly, ungrateful brats. They are my responsibility and however bad they turn out is all my fault cos I AM the one at home supposedly GROOMING them.

And so tonight, i have stormed out of the house for some peace and solitude because i just cant stand the pouting, whining and finger pointing one second longer.

I need help, God.
Help me find my composure once again.

Love letter

In case you cant read this, it says:

Dear Wei Pyn

My number 67570794

Love Terelle

I. Am. Floored

My daughter, who is all of 5, has just given her phone number to a boy.

She is kinda besotted with this boy from her class. A skinny little ball of energy named Wei Pyn.

Im not sure if she truly understands the meaning of love or perhaps she simply enjoys his company very much, because Wei Pyn, from what i can tell from my sneaky observations in school, is a spontaneous, fun loving and mischevious little boy.

He has many characteristics that are similar to my mafia queen and they are inseparable in class, always playing and chatting happily and even poking fun at their classmates together.

And so for the past few weeks, its been 'Wei Pyn this, Wei Pyn that". She tells me she wants to marry Wei Pyn when she grows up. When i say she's too young to be thinking about marriage, she retorts, "No not now Mummy, when Im big like you, I will marry Wei Pyn."

*Smacks forhead in disbelief*

He loves anything to do with Transformers and she brings Transformers stickers to school for him. Heck she even smuggles Thane's Transformers figurines into her schoolbag when he's not looking, to give them to Wei Pyn!

What disloyalty to her brother! haha!

And sometimes i catch her smiling to herself and when i ask her why, she tells me with a shy smile and a twinkle in her eye that she dreamt Wei Pyn got down on his knees and asked her to marry him.

Oh myGod.

The best part is, Wei Pyn actually called her that night, after she gave him the note in school.


The conversation went as follows:


Terelle: Hello? *giggle giggle* Hello? You want to talk to my brother?


*passes phone to Thane*


Thane: HAR-LOW??!! HAR-LOW!!?? WHO ARE YOU?


*snatches the phone back*


Terelle: My brother is very funny right? *giggle giggle* OK... ok... see you tomorrow! Bye!



And she comes up to me and says,"Mummy how come Wei Pyn sounds so squeaky on the phone? He sounds like a mouse!"


That's cos his voice hasnt broken yet!? That's cos both of you are 5 years old!!?


That's him, that's my supposed future son-in-law.

Sigh...should i start fretting now?

My baby's Five

My precious firstborn turns 5 today.

We spent the morning having a leisurely macD's breakfast while Thane was in class.

Trying to glam it up with my sunnies

My little rock chick!

And after school, Hubby left work early to join us for an ice cream treat

Terelle is growing up to be a real little lady, and i am so proud of her for achieving many milestones so far.

Physically she can:


1) Swim a short distance now!

She has made such great progress in swimming and i am very impressed with her coach.

I would never have been able to achieve what her coach has managed to get her to do in just 2 short months.

She started as a whimpering scardey cat, sitting and crying at the side of the pool, refusing to put her head into the water. Something the coach said then made sense to her. (and me too! I thought it was a great quote to coax kids!)

He said that it was ok to be scared but its not ok to cry. Surprisingly she started to trust him after that, and tried her darndest to follow his instructions, even if it meant coming way out of her comfort zone.

Here she is at one of her 1st few lessons, still a little fearful of the water

And then, Coach managed to get her to dunk her head in to blow bubbles

Her confidence bolstered, she began to clown around in the water

And recently, she has managed to swim a short distance, unassisted!!

Well done babe! Mummy hopes you will continue to perfect your strokes and have total confidence in the water!



2) She can run about 1km without stopping for a break.

All my training sessions on wednesdays while Thane is in school have paid off!

Mummy secretly hopes you will follow in my footsteps and take up running. You can do it anytime, anywhere, it keeps you fit and in shape and best of all its free!

Here she is outrunning Shukai, the son of one of my good friends - He is so pooped he gives up and flops to the ground without managing to catch her!

I think you can keep your shotgun Daddy, our girl will be able to outrun any boy chasing her in the future! Haha...



Intellectually she can:

1) Read simple books now!


Thanks to Alice who introduced this method used by mothers who homeschool their kids, Terelle's confidence grew and before i knew it, she could recognize a lot more new words.


I dont know exactly how it happened, but suddenly she was able to read complete sentences and whenever she encountered new words, she would at least attempt to try to sound it out. Previously she would just give up whenever she was stuck.


To further encourage her to read more, I came up with this reading chart. For every book that she reads, she will earn a sticker. Every 5 stickers can be exchanged for a treat - ice cream, kinder bueno, gummies, chocolates...she names it, she gets it!


Close friends know that im such a stickler when it comes to the "No Junk" policy for my kids, so all these treats are like Christmas coming early to her and she totally relishes them.


And it works! She gets a real kick out of actually being able to read an entire book by herself and then sticking each sticker in its respective box. Of course, the books that i choose are simple readers as ive realised that the more difficult ones tend to discourage her and put her off.


No matter, babe! We'll get there together soon!

My cheeky gal would still sometimes play the fool and say something ridiculous whenever she didnt know a word, collapsing in fits of giggles at my admonishings. But generally her reading has improved by leaps and bounds and i am glad.


For a period of time i considered sending her for extra classes to teach her how to read!
Phew! Money saved!


Her current favourite books are those by Dr Seuss as his wacky humor totally appeals to her goofball character. She will read them over and over again and keep laughing at the bizzare and silly parts in the book, and then repeat those parts to her brother and insist that he laugh too.


2) Write simple words all by herself!


Everyday i find a jumble of unrelated words written in a myraid of colors on the easel

It is pretty fun reading new "quotes of the day" on the easel everyday

And for mothers' day, she made this card for me all by herself!

She didnt ask for any help to spell out the words

It's a simple card, with simple words, but im proud, so proud!

3) Play simple tunes on the piano


We are blessed with an awesome teacher who has a knack for getting her to practise her pieces.

On those "off" weeks when no amount of cajoling, threatening, begging or scolding on my part can get her to even go near the piano, one lesson at Aunty P's and she's so motivated, she will practise on her own everyday for the following week.


I have no idea what P does or says to her but it works! And Terelle simply loves her piano lessons now.


And I am so glad i dont have to scream like a banshee at her everyday and pull my hair out over her practising the piano!

Playing one of her latest pieces

Socially she:

1) Empathizes and read feelings very well


When im teaching or upset or busy and flustered, she knows how to stay out of my way until ive calmed down. And then she will give me a hug and tell me that she loves me. Or she will draw something funny or write me a card to cheer me up.

I can never stay angry with her for long!


And if i scold or scream at her, i always feel terrible straight after, cos she is generally so well behaved (albeit a little mischievious and cheeky) and easy to manage, it doesnt seem fair to her to be yelled at by Mummy.


I thank God for her understanding, if not for her, I wouldnt be able to achieve half of the things I do everyday!



2) Obeys orders and is pretty easy to discipline


She knows her daily routine very well and will usually do as she is told without any complaints. The tricky part is not to let her get too tired. When she's tired, all protocol is thrown out of the window and she starts to whine, cry and basically melt down.


If things really get out of hand, all i have to do is look at her sternly and tell her firmly that i want the hysterics stopped at the count of three. She will usually stop right after she hears me start on "one".


Other than that, if she is well rested, she is a joy to have around and i love hanging out with her as she is interactive and fun to be with!




3) Is still a little shy among adults


I am training her to greet her elders loudly and clearly whenever she meets them, but so far she manages only feeble little squeaks of acknowledgement.


Well, we're still working on it. Some days she greets people that we meet loudly and cheerfully while other days she still hides shyly behind me and squeaks incoherantly.

Sigh...no matter! Im sure we'll get there too!

So Happy Birthday babe! May you always stay my happy, healthy and spunky little girl!

Couple Time!

It has become de rigueur that we have some couple time every Friday cos Terelle has a long day in school, ending class only at 4pm. So she doesnt nap when she comes home and will be knackered and in bed by 8pm. Baby will follow his sister to bed at whatever time she chooses.

Which leaves us with a good 4 hours to head out for some shopping or a movie, to catch up with friends and of course supper!

Food at Glutton's Bay is good but overpriced

Checking out River Hongbao during CNY

Dont like to jostle around in crowds with the kids in tow

Posing in front of the Kent Ridge Hall float

Scouring Nite Markets

And at our latest run - the Live Earth Run for Water!

This time we brought the kids over to my in laws' the night before the run, so that we could have a good rest before the race, and the whole day to ourselves after that!

At the finish line

Unfettered by kids, we went shopping after the race, went home and grabbed our gear before heading out for badminton and swimming with good friends, and ended off the day with a nice dinner by the seaside

What bliss!

Im so mentally recharged to handle the kids again!

Before this short break i was dragging my heels and losing my temper at the kids at the slightest provocation. What wonders a 24hr break can do to my psyche!

More "staycations" yah, hubby? ;)

Discpline and Reward

We came up with this chart to motivate Terelle to behave.


She gets a tick for good behavior and a cross whenever she misbehaves. Moreover there was a period of time when she began to cry whenever we dropped her off at school and would cling to me like a limpet, all the while wailing pitifully.



No idea what brought on that period of regression, we put it down to Thane starting to become more endearing with his antics and captivating everyone's attention, so she had no choice but to come up with something to attract our attention as well.



Thank God she didnt regress in other ways like bed wetting or fighting sleep though! That would have been major headache for me!

So for each day that she did not cry, she would get a tick, and for the days that she did, she would get a cross.

If she reached the end of the chart of crosses, she would be "rewarded" with a lollipop.

And if she completed the chart of ticks, she would get this neat contraption called the Ezy Roller.

We found this in an obscure sports shop and all of us were fascinated by it. The Ezy-Roller is a three-wheel cart without pedals, a chain, or batteries. Instead it glides forward by moving your feet and knowing our daredevil daughter, she would definitely be game to try anything that involves high speed action outdoors.

So it was obvious what she was gunning for, and whenever she slipped up and started crying in school, she was genuinely appalled at her behaviour and kept vowing not to repeat her hysterics the next day.

The chart was also good in controlling errant behaviour. I would simply have to go, "Do u want a tick or a cross?" and any attempt at a misdemeanour would be quelled immediately. Haha!

And so, after a couple of months, Terelle finally earned her Ezy Roller, adding this to the sporting activities that we do together during our special time on Wednesdays!

She is a speed demon, just like her mama! haha...

Patience

This is what we got up to, on one of those nites when the small one went to bed early.

Terelle honing her patience by lining the dominos up one by one

half an hour later....all done!

And down they fall...a few minor glitches though...

This would NEVER have been possible if the small guy was awake, he is so eager (or rather destructive) he will topple short rows of only 3 dominos!

Updates

Terelle and I have 2 special days in the week, when we do stuff together during a precious 2 hr window when Thane is in school.

Since his school is at East Coast, we will go for a morning run together, starting from the old Big Splash...

looping around the Lighthouse...

and then turning back!

We will then treat ourselves to a hearty breakfast at one of the eateries near Thane's school, all the while taking goofy pics and/or read some books and do some activity books.

Other days we will take either her scooter or car along with us and have some giddy, giggly fun rolling down slopes and racing along the jogging tracks.

Here she is, hurtling down the slopes at breakneck speed!

And then she has to carry the car back up - its a good workout for her arms and legs too!

Some days we venture further, over to Parkway Parade for a nice breakfast and our favourite longan/pineapple drink at the hawker centre.

And then its off to the playground near the library for some fun, while we wait for the library to open its doors.

We will then spend the next hour in the library, reading together and choosing new books to be savoured at home.

Baby i just want you to know that Mummy really treasures these times spent with you, and i hope that you enjoy yourself as much as i do!

A Prayer

While most of us are reveling in the festive spirit and worrying over inconsequential things like whether the home looks impressive enough for guests, like how to churn out the dishes for reunion dinner or even what to wear to make a fashion statement while visiting; i want to stop my very own trivial quibbling for a moment and say a prayer for someone.

Many of us know Charmaine, the feisty girl battling neuroblastoma. The girl and her long suffering mother whose story touched us all.

I do not particularly enjoy reading the blog chronicling her battle with her cancer, because it makes me so utterly sad and i cant stop thinking about her for the next couple of days.

However, i was reading someone else' blog today and that person wrote an update about her. Feeling curious and hopeful that perhaps there might be a chance of a happy ending for her, i started to read about her latest developments.

And the prognosis doesnt sound optimistic, the cancer's back.
I come away with feelings of misery, despair, unfairness, indignance and overall hopelessness again.
The pain i feel for this little girl is so real that she might have been a close friend or relative's daughter.

As Charmaine's mum puts it, all she really wants is to lead a normal life.
All she wants is to "go to work like everyone else, fret about the stressful life in Singapore, stress over my kids' education and complain that money is never enough."
Issues that all of us go on and on about every single day, moaning about our lives like its the end of the world.

I want to hang my head with shame for whenever my own kids are sick, i whinge and whine and think that im suffering just because i dont get a couple of nights' proper sleep. And here is this brave mummy who stays by her daughter's side day after day, night after night taking each setback and triumph with strength and grace.

I dont know if ill have her strength if i was in her situation. Looking at my kids playing together happily without a care in this world brings a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes.
They have been given this simple gift of health and it has suddenly become so precious to me because here is this little girl, denied the same gift and the experience of the pure, unadulterated joy of enjoying the world through innocent and pain free eyes.

Tonight, i thank you dear Lord, for my children's health and vow that i will not sweat the small stuff anymore.

Whenever im going to yell at Terelle for not learning to read properly, ill think of the fact that all Charmaine wants is to go to school.

When i find myself losing my temper when they dont behave, ill think of how much Cynthia wants Charmaine to simply be cheeky and have the energy to goof around.

And whenever i get upset with my kids not eating properly/watching too much tv/being tardy at bedtime/making a mess/fighting and basically just being kids, ill remember that all Cynthia wants is for Charmaine to be able to do all of that.

And i hope i will be able to find it in me to stop for a minute, calm down and just hug them both a little tighter and thank you again Lord, for giving them to me as they are, above everything else.

And so, i say a prayer for this little family tonight, that perhaps, just perhaps, the night is really the darkest just before dawn.

Dear Heavenly Father, i would truly give up all my creature comforts, just so that this little girl can have a decent shot at life, a life of health and happiness that all of us take for granted.

Please hear my prayer tonight, Lord.

Amen.

Wheee!

Hubby insisted i take this video, so that 10 years down the road when the kids are grown, he can remember that he once used his head for purposes not quite that conventional.