A Prayer

While most of us are reveling in the festive spirit and worrying over inconsequential things like whether the home looks impressive enough for guests, like how to churn out the dishes for reunion dinner or even what to wear to make a fashion statement while visiting; i want to stop my very own trivial quibbling for a moment and say a prayer for someone.

Many of us know Charmaine, the feisty girl battling neuroblastoma. The girl and her long suffering mother whose story touched us all.

I do not particularly enjoy reading the blog chronicling her battle with her cancer, because it makes me so utterly sad and i cant stop thinking about her for the next couple of days.

However, i was reading someone else' blog today and that person wrote an update about her. Feeling curious and hopeful that perhaps there might be a chance of a happy ending for her, i started to read about her latest developments.

And the prognosis doesnt sound optimistic, the cancer's back.
I come away with feelings of misery, despair, unfairness, indignance and overall hopelessness again.
The pain i feel for this little girl is so real that she might have been a close friend or relative's daughter.

As Charmaine's mum puts it, all she really wants is to lead a normal life.
All she wants is to "go to work like everyone else, fret about the stressful life in Singapore, stress over my kids' education and complain that money is never enough."
Issues that all of us go on and on about every single day, moaning about our lives like its the end of the world.

I want to hang my head with shame for whenever my own kids are sick, i whinge and whine and think that im suffering just because i dont get a couple of nights' proper sleep. And here is this brave mummy who stays by her daughter's side day after day, night after night taking each setback and triumph with strength and grace.

I dont know if ill have her strength if i was in her situation. Looking at my kids playing together happily without a care in this world brings a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes.
They have been given this simple gift of health and it has suddenly become so precious to me because here is this little girl, denied the same gift and the experience of the pure, unadulterated joy of enjoying the world through innocent and pain free eyes.

Tonight, i thank you dear Lord, for my children's health and vow that i will not sweat the small stuff anymore.

Whenever im going to yell at Terelle for not learning to read properly, ill think of the fact that all Charmaine wants is to go to school.

When i find myself losing my temper when they dont behave, ill think of how much Cynthia wants Charmaine to simply be cheeky and have the energy to goof around.

And whenever i get upset with my kids not eating properly/watching too much tv/being tardy at bedtime/making a mess/fighting and basically just being kids, ill remember that all Cynthia wants is for Charmaine to be able to do all of that.

And i hope i will be able to find it in me to stop for a minute, calm down and just hug them both a little tighter and thank you again Lord, for giving them to me as they are, above everything else.

And so, i say a prayer for this little family tonight, that perhaps, just perhaps, the night is really the darkest just before dawn.

Dear Heavenly Father, i would truly give up all my creature comforts, just so that this little girl can have a decent shot at life, a life of health and happiness that all of us take for granted.

Please hear my prayer tonight, Lord.

Amen.