Tuesday, December 22, 2009

We Heart Bangkok

Long overdue post detailing our by now infamous (at least among our circle of friends with young children but who have yet to dare scoot off on a holiday WITHOUT them) Bangkok trip.


4 days 3 nights in a swanky Marriott suite in the heart of Bangkok.

4 days 3 nights of non stop shopping and eating.

4 days 3 nights of doing absolutely whatever we want, whenever we want with no schedules to adhere to.

4 days 3 nights of absolute freedom from the incessant demands of 2 precocious kids.

What complete, unmitigated bliss...



And yet, the night before we were supposed to leave, i was having 2nd thoughts. (See post on breastfeeding Thane for the last time)



How were the kids going to cope without me?

Who will police them in drinking their daily copious amounts of water?

Who will make sure that every inch of every tooth is brushed every night?

Who will make sure that they dont stuff their faces with junk?

And who will be there for them if they miss us badly?



I know hubby was all ready to berate me for wasting his time and money should i pull out from our couple trip at the last minute, so i bit my tongue and quelled all my fears about leaving the kids behind.

I could hardly sleep that night, disturbed by nightmares about the kids injuring themselves/falling very sick/choking/getting lost/getting run over by traffic cos no one was watching them...yeah i was that paranoid.

You couldnt blame me right? This was the 1st time in almost 5 years that we have actually left their sides for more than a couple of hours!

Of course i was apprehensive!



To make matters worse, my baby started to develop a runny nose the very night before we were supposed to depart.

Talk about the kids always succeeding in sabotaging our plans huh...


Here he is, a little sick but still cheeky as usual


And so, the very next morning, we carted everyone off to my mother in law's house , 2 hours before we were even due to check in.

Hubby called for a cab to the airport and with nary a backward glance, plopped himself in the backseat.

Me, my heart broke when Terelle started crying. I wanted to cry myself and almost wanted to ask hubby not to go after all.

Callously, hubby dragged me into the cab (a move which i would thank him for later) and demanded that i get a grip and that they would be fine without us.

We did eventually make it up the plane, but not before me insisting to call home like twenty times (all in the space of 3 hours before takeoff)


As soon as we landed in Bangkok, the shopaholic in me could not resist the lure of the intoxicating city and my worries over the kids began to fade.


OK i was determined to make the most out of my 4 days of freedom!!

And so, all we really did was eat, shop, rest, swim, have massages, read, watch tv...in no particular order and then eat and shop some more. By the end of the trip we were thoroughly sick of shopping...and i NEVER get sick of shopping...ha...


Waiting for the train to take us to Chatuchak


Oh yes, we totally heart Bangkok!


Hubby totally satiated and outside the public toilets at the weekend market

He said that the toilets were so clean that they put to shame any one of our public toilets back home. Says so much about our society huh?



Shopping in the sweltering heat


The Bangkok traffic - i love the colorful taxis!


Carting home the spoils from the market

Having dinner at the Suna Lom Night Market

Our sumptious and authentic Thai food

Lunch at a hip joint in the heart of the city where we caught up with an old friend

Silly me was too fascinated with these noodles (aptly named Complicated Noodles) that i forgot to take pics of our little lunch party. Gah!!

And what's a trip to Bangkok without risking life and limb on a Tuk Tuk?

Look at our loot! 80% were stuff for the kids - shows how much we missed them! Haha!

The beautiful infinity pool surrounded by the tall buildings dotting the city

Lazing around by the pool

When the time came for us to leave, i was eager to return home, for the first time! Usually i will be very reluctant to end a holiday and will glumly drag myself back to the airport. This time, i was looking forward to seeing the kids cos we really missed them over the 4 days.

Thanks to pragmatic hubby who had the faith that the kids would be fine without us, who actually dragged me onto the plane and who limited my calls home to only twice a day (think without him, i would have called home every hour), i truly enjoyed our very first trip away from our 2 monkeys.

More to come? Hell, yeah!!

This time ill have utterly no qualms about leaving the kids behind!!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Thane talks

We are at the airport fetching hubby home from a work trip.

Thane is dressed in long sleeves and wearing his striped pants with a huge owl on his bum.

Passers by find him irresistibly cute and cannot resist but ruffle his hair and pinch his cheeks.

Helper comments," Wah baby, everybody likes you huh?"

Thane swiftly replies, "Because baby handsome."

* I have absoultely no idea who taught him that! *
-----------------

I have stopped breastfeeding him for close to a month now.

Just yesterday i offered him the breast for fun.

M: Baby wanna drink nen nen?

T: *looks at me incredulously* Dunwan!

M: Why? Why dont you want nen nen?

T: Because baby big boy already.

And no matter what i say and how i cajole him to drink nen nen, he keeps rejecting me with a cheeky smile on his face.

He really is a big boy through and through!
---------------
Helper plonks him down on the playmat and goes to the kitchen.
Barely a minute later, we hear his plaintive wail.
" Aunt-eeeeeeee! Come here! Play with baby! Im SO BORED, baby ALL ALONE!"
This is said with the exact same intonation and in the exact same manner as Terelle, who laments this way ever so often, especially during the long holidays.
He is picking up EVERYTHING from Jie Jie, good and bad.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Weaning - the aftermath

Weaning Thane from breastfeeding was easier than i thought.

Now, whenever its nap or bedtime, all i have to do is to lie on the mattress next to his bed and do my own thing, while he wriggles and squirms round and round the bed, trying to find a sweet spot to lay his little head.
(You know, just like when a dog needs to poo, he goes round and round and round until he finds a nice spot and then he goes?)

After about 15min of burrowing around his bed, he finally falls asleep with nary a fuss.

Heaven!

But the catch is that i HAVE to be beside him. If suddenly during his squirming he happens to look up and im not there, he'll scream the house down till i come back and sit beside him.

It doesnt work if hubby is sitting there. It has to be me.

But im not complaining...its a far far cry from having to nurse him left, right, left, right.....on and on and on for at least 45min!

His appetite has increased much more too. Now he takes 3 bottles of milk a day, 300ml in the morning, 150ml in the afternoon and 120 ml at night, on top of 3 full meals.

No more eating like a mouse! Hallelujah!

However, even without breastfeeding, he's still quite the mama's boy.

Ever so often during the course of the day, he will come and lay his head on my chest and just lie there for a good 10min. He will want me to hug and cuddle and carry him like a baby, smiling contentedly when i do.

And when he's upset, all i have to do is pick him up, cradle him and soothe the raw nerves with some quiet words and he's fine and dandy again.

And i was so worried that only breastfeeding could calm him down!

So overall, i would rate this weaning episode a 10/10. And we got to go for a holiday on our own on top of that!

Happiness...

Friday, November 27, 2009

So long, and thanks for all the fish

It is 10pm and Thane is comfortably cocooned in my arms, blissfully suckling to sleep.

Little does he know that it will be the last time he gets to suckle and that a thousand and one feelings are swirling through me right now.

Tomorrow hubby and i leave for Bangkok for a 4 day getaway and we are going to use this chance to wean him.

I am sad.
We've been through so much, my babe and me. From the early days of mastitis, to finally achieving a constant supply, to his abrupt and emotionally wrenching milk strike, to him becoming kinda addicted to the breast...this last breastfeeding session just seems so sudden and so final.

As i watch his little angelic face slowly soften as he starts to doze off, my heart breaks and my resolve is weakened. I am so tempted to call off my trip tomorrow, just so that i can continue nursing my little one.

If i had my way, ill probably let him self wean slowly. But so many factors are pushing me towards this harsher decision of weaning him myself, now.

I think of the sleepless nights. Ive not had unbroken sleep for the past 2 years cos he still wakes up to 4 times a nite to nurse!! For FUN!! He's not really suckling!!

The screaming fits when i deny him the breast. The absolute worst case is when im driving and he's strapped in his car seat and howling incessantly for nen nen. He will wail and holler and scream and sob all the way home, and all the while im trying my darndest not to get into an accident amidst the racket he's making.

I think about his lack of appetite and disinterest in food cos he loves to suckle at all times of the day and he fills up before he gets a chance to have his proper meals. He eats like a mouse and i am afraid he is not getting enough nutrients, for breastmilk isnt supposed to be that nourishing to a 2 year old as it is to a 6 month old!

His reluctance to drink from the bottle cos the breast is always so much more comforting. And so i am chained to him, for i always have to be present to comfort him whenever he's upset and also to put him down to sleep. I remember him waiting for me way past his naptime, cos i was having tuition and couldnt nurse him. He ended up real cranky and screamed the whole house down cos he was extremely tired, but still he waited and waited till i was done.

I think about the embarassment when he tries to pull up my top in public as and when he fancies. The image of Emperor Pu Yi comes to mind and i am terrified if i dont wean him soon, he will continue to breastfeed all the way till he's 6!!
Horrors of horror!

And so i harden my heart and commit this image of his contented little sleeping face to memory before putting him down to sleep. I have to move on and close this chapter of my life.

That's it, its over...My milk producing days are done.

Ive breastfed Thane for 1 year 11months and 22 days, just 8 days shy of his 2nd birthday.
I deserve a huge pat on the back.

Oh and i forgot to mention, bye bye cleavage, hello runway again...sigh...

Monday, November 23, 2009

Mourning Jack

It was the day when torrential rains poured over our little island. And there was widespread flooding, the most well known one being in the Bukit Timah area.

I was in Bedok, far far away from Bukit Timah. I was supposed to be safe.

And yet...
Let's just say i was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I had just finished my workout at Tampines and was going to pick Terelle up from school. One of her classmate's mum called to say that her car couldnt start and asked if i could pick her gal up as well.
Sure, not a problem, i cheerfully answered, as i slowly negotiated the car through the blinding rain towards the school.

I picked the girls up, dropped Terelle's friend back home and headed off towards our own home.

Almost every car had their hazard lights on and everyone was going at a snail's pace. I had never seen such heavy rainfall before, much less drive through one, so i was exceptionally careful.

I saw some flooding ahead of me and estimated that the water would come up to about half tyre. But smaller cars than mine were cruising easily through the pool of water so i figured it was alright.

Never in my wildest dreams did i expect to stall right smack in the middle of the flashflood!

You always see other drivers standing forlornly by the side of the road, beside their vehicle that had just broken down, and u go "tsk tsk so cham!"
But you never ever expect it to happen to you.
When it does you are just flabbergasted and lost.

The next few minutes were pretty surreal.

I tried to restart the car but it sputtered and died, with all its indicator lights flashing.
Other motorists started to horn at us from the back.
Terelle jumped up and down excitedly, asking me loads of questions and yelling at me to "Quickly start the car and MOVE, mummy! We are blocking the road!"

At that moment my mind was a blank. I didnt know what to do but to call hubby, who was thousands of miles away in Beijing.
Sudden call at 3pm on a Thursday afternoon from wife, i wouldnt hazard a guess over the million and one bleak thoughts that could have flashed through his mind at that time.

After calling for the tow truck, i ushered Terelle out of the car and into the pouring rain cos i was afraid the cars behind wouldnt be able to see us and plough into us. I had to carry her through the flood, cos i didnt want her to get wet, and my shoes and pants were soaked through.

As we stood by the road side, huddled together under the umbrella, and waited for the tow truck (and the liews to come save terelle and bring her home 1st), i saw the floodwaters slowly receed.

10minutes later and the road was back to normal.

Sigh...if only i had stayed a little longer at the gym, if only i had driven a little slower, if only i had parked at Terelle's school and waited for the rain to abate, then i wouldnt have been caught in the flashflood.

See? Normal road conditions by the time the tow truck arrived

Poor Jack being towed after his watery death

I'd never thought ill feel so strongly over the car.

Poor poor Jack (Our family's affectionate name for the car) with his flashy rims, sporty exterior and customized racing stripe, is now lifeless with his lungs (engine) full of water in a dirty workshop. Jack who has accompanied us on many a happy family outing, who has drawn countless appreciative glances on the roads and who is a luxury to maneuver is dead, dead, dead.

And he is barely 2 years old!

As im writing this, im not even sure if we'll ever see Jack again, the initial prognosis from the mechanic is grim.

I feel like im mourning the loss of a dear friend. *sob*

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Running

Amongst many other common interests, i am thankful that hubby and i share a passion for sports, especially running.
Due to our inherent competitive streak, we have always taken great pride in trying to outrun each other, ever since our school days.

I havent been running very regularly since ive had the 2 monkeys, but this year, ive finally hauled my lazy ass off the sofa and restarted my fitness regime. Also because hubby sponsored an unlimited membership with the gym, and penny pinching me abhors wastage, so i go almost everyday to maximize the membership! Haha...

It really is a case of mind over matter. When i wasnt exercising i always felt lethargic and listless, and yet couldnt sleep well at night. Once i started hitting the gym regularly, i had renewed energy to push myself to do so much more during the day and at night i slept like a baby (until awoken BY the baby)

Here we are at some of our runs this year.

At the starting line of the nike human race

I struggled to complete the 10k last year but im proud to say i did it quite effortlessly with a respectable timing this year! Yeah!

Just before flag off in a sea of red

A little crazy with euphoria at the end

At Run Singapore

I also took part in the Great Eastern Women's 10k but alas, no pics as my friend was holding on to my fone when i went for a loo break at the start and we got separated when the run started.

And i have made it my personal challenge to keep beating my timing and to push myself to see how much i can improve.

It feels good to have an agenda for myself for once, and to indulge in something that i am passionate about, and not have my world revolve entirely around the kids.

And this is also the reason why i am dead set against having a 3rd child. My life has just started to get back on track and i dont want to be derailed again and start right at the beginning with another baby.

A couple of good friends are expecting their 3rd child and i am really happy for them, (sidenote: YL you may not be the best mother in the world but i know you are the best mother that k, s and the akan datang little one can ever have. And i admire you for your bravery and steadfastness in following God's plan!)

But i know that i will be extremely upset if i were to fall pregnant with a 3rd child. There is just not enough of me to go round if i were to have another baby.

(Which reminds me that i did mention when i recounted about my pregnant pauses, about how i was going to permanantly guarantee that that doesnt happen.)

We have set our sights on the Great Wall Marathon in Beijing and the Phuket Marathon next year and maybe also the Great Ocean Road marathon in Melbourne, and take a holiday at the same time after completing the race. It would be a good chance for us to have some couple time too without the kids.

Anyone keen to join us? :)

Friday, November 13, 2009

Simple pleasures

We really do not need to spend money to buy any more toys for the kids.

Here they are keeping themselves occupied with things found around the house! Best of all, most of these things came free of charge!

Drawing on a balloon

This is a box that came with a lounge chair that we bought.
They doodled on it, played hide and seek in it, played pretend house, slept in it, hid their little treasures in it and basically spent many happy hours with it.

Hiding and squealing non stop

Terelle peeking out of the little window that she cut out herself


Thane in his shanty town house

Alas, hubby has thrown the box out as it has been almost torn to shreds.

Its ok, it had lived a good life!


And here they are, dragging each other along in the old car seat.

I am seriously thinking of doing away with xmas pressies this year

Shall i get them some cardboard, a few pieces of plastic and maybe some tin cans?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

HAI-YAK!

This is the result of watching too much Kung Fu Panda.

In the video, Terelle is very amused by Thane's antics and held on to his head while he pummelled the air. Of cos that didnt go down too well with him.

And when he couldnt hai-yak Jie Jie, he turned and started to rain blows on me...haha...

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The story of the rejected milk powder

I bought a tin of Nan Pro 3 for Thane to try a couple of months back and he took to it, finishing the entire tin within a month.

Gleefully i bought another tin but this time, it was a pain just trying to get him to finish up a bottle every day. Thinking that i bought the wrong tin (cos Nan Pro3 and Nan HA look similar) i rushed out to get a tin of Nan HA just so that he would drink more milk everyday.

To my utter dismay, he rejected the Nan HA completely! Actually i dont blame him, it smells and tastes like puke.

And so i have almost a full tin of Nan HA and a quarter tin of Nan pro 3 sitting in my kitchen untouched.

I was determined not to let them go to waste, but i couldnt possibly sell them away now that they have been opened.

Brainwave moment - I decided to use the milk powder to bake cookies! I used a conventional recipe for cookies and made some trial and error changes, the cookies turned out to be crunchy on the outside and a little soft on the inside, just like the consistency of Sugi cookies.

The kids loved them so much that they walloped almost half the entire batch the moment they came out of the oven. In fact they were already eating the dough even before i could bake them. Wahahaha...

And so here is my recipe, for any mummy who wants to get their kid to drink more milk without them actually drinking it!

Ingredients
180g butter (softened at room temperature)
80g Horlicks
50g milk powder
200g cake flour
10 tsp sugar
chocolate chips or colorful sprinkles

Method

1. Preheat oven to 140deg. Line baking tray with baking paper

2. Sieve cake flour and milk powder.

3. Cream butter and Horlicks at low speed for about 3 minutes, gradually adding in the sugar.

4. Add cake flour and milk powder and beat until dough is formed.

5. Roll into balls or use cookie cutters to cut into shapes.

(I let Terelle decorate them, she made faces with the choc chips and silver sugar balls.)

6. Bake at 140deg for 25-30minutes, depending on your oven.

7. Cool completely before storing. Makes about 50 cookies.

Enjoy! :)

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Thane is writing!

Ive been practising with him using this reusable ABC booklet. And one fine day, he surprised us by actually being able to write out a couple of letters on his own on the easel!

He can write the letters "H, I, L and O" proficiently. And most of the letters with the straight lines with a bit of help. Letters with curves are still a little difficult for him.

But its no mean feat! Terelle only started writing letters when she was around 2 years and 8 months!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Working too hard?

Ive been giving tuition for years but for the longest time this year, ive had no luck in getting assignments.
However, recently God has been good to me and all of a sudden im bombarded with so many referrals for tuition that i have to turn down many assignments.

Im very thankful for the work coming my way and the financial independence it proffers, not to mention the immense satisfaction from knowing that i actually count again.
I can earn my own keep!
Im no longer just a yellow-faced, thumb twiddling housewife whose entire world revolves around the 4 walls of her home!
The rusty cogs of my brain are turning once more!


It feels good to be able to buy stuff for the kids with my own money or to pay for their enrichment classes or workshops without having to consult hubby.

I can also treat myself to an indulgent snack if i fancy it. (it used to be "What? $3.90 for fried taiwanese chicken pieces? sigh...ill pass")

Hell, I can even buy little surprise gifts for hubby!
In the past a gift for him didnt feel like it was a real gift cos i was using his money to buy it!

But i wonder if im working too hard and spending too much time away from the kids.
After all i did quit my job to be a stay at home mum in order to spend time with the kids.

My typical day goes as follows:


Morning

Chauffeur the kids to enrichment classes/school. Thane attends classes at 9am so if Terelle is awake by the time we need to leave the house, I will get her changed and ready for school and take her along for a spot of breakfast as our helper accompanies Thane in class.
After he is done with class, i will send Terelle off to school.


(On a sidenote, I lament the fact that i seldom am able to accompany Thane in his classes because if Terelle is around, she always demands my attention and refuses to have breakfast with our helper and let me go to class with Thane.

Yes we do have a good time bonding over breakfast, as we read storybooks, do a couple of activity books and draw funny pictures together.


But i get this niggling sense of guilt that Thane seldom has mummy's undivided attention, unlike Jie Jie in the past, who had mummy all to herself.

Terelle went everywhere with me, literally. Even when i had to give tuition, i would bring her along and she would play with my student's siblings with nary a complaint.

Sigh the pitfalls of being the 2nd child...)



Midday

After Terelle is off at school, ill take Thane home, put him to sleep and rush to the gym for an hour's workout, ending just in time for me to go pick her up from school.
Sometimes if any of my students are home early from school, ill schedule tuition during this time so that i can be home for a longer stretch in the afternoon.



Afternoon
After showering Terelle and giving her a snack, ill put her down to nap, wolf down my lunch and rush out for tuition. Usually ill have at least 2 sessions a day and ill only return at evening time. This means that after their nap, Terelle would have spent about 2 hrs playing with our helper while Thane would have spent at least 4 hrs.



Evening
Ill have dinner with the kids and after playing with them for about an hour, its time to start the bedtime routines.


Im concerned because lately, Thane has been clinging to me like a limpet each time i return home. If im occupied and cannot tend to him immediately, he cries inconsolably and keeps saying "I want mummy!"


Terelle has also commented that she seldom sees me at home anymore. And sometimes whenever she is excited about something and wants me to share her excitement, she calls me "Aunty!" and then "Mummy!" *horrors*

Is my working 4 hours a day too much for my kids? Cant i have my cake and eat it too?

Sigh...


I still want my stay at home mum status to be a badge of honor and not become a subject of contention.
And so i shall cringe and turn away yet more lucarative assignments because after all, my kids are still my top priority.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Who? What? Why? When? How?

Thane is getting prolific at questioning us. His line of questioning is spot on in context and he always leaves us flabbergasted at his creativity.


Scenario: His diaper has burst and his shorts are all wet. Our helper tells him that he has to take a bath right now. However, they are not at home but at my mum in law's house.

Helper: Baby you need to bom bom now. Your diaper burst.

Thane: *Looks at her incredulously* Here?

Helper: *Amused* Yes!

Thane: How?

(As in this is not our house, where in the world can I bom bom?)



Scenario: Passerby couple quarrelling. We overhear guy telling girl to keep quiet and that he doesnt care about her anymore.

Thane turns to his Gong Gong and with a puzzled look on his face, asks, " Why?"

Gong Gong: I dont know...I have no idea...

Thane: Then how?

*Gong Gong is gobsmacked*



Scenario: Thane is singing at the top of his voice and totally massacring the song. Terelle is trying to sing the same song properly but cant because she is distracted by him.

Terelle: Keep quiet baby!! KEEP QUIET! You must SING PROPERLY!!!!

Thane: *with a mocking smirk* Why?

Saturday, September 05, 2009

Toilet Humor

For reasons unbeknownst to me, children absolutely love words associated with waste material. Toilet humor cracks them up to the point that tears stream from their eyes and they are almost rolling on the floor shrieking with laughter.

Terelle bombards me with a barrage of toilet humor every single day.

She changes the words of the nursery rhymes that i try to sing to thane.


"Old Macdonald had a POOT POOT, E-I-E-I-O

And on his farm he had some SHEE SHEE, E-I-E-I-O! Wahahahhahah!"


When we play make believe with her soft toys, she names them POOT POOT, SHEE SHEE or UNDERPANTS, all the while howling with laughter.

If any of the above words so happen to feature in our conversations, she latches onto them immediately and says them over and over again, giggling non stop.

And whenever i fetch her from school, i always find her holding court with her subjects in rapt attention as she spews words such as "CHICKEN UNDERPANTS!", "POO POO POOEY!", SHEE SHEEEEEEEEEE!"
And everyone will burst out laughing hysterically.

Charming...

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Mafia antics again

I drove up to the pick up point where all the kids would be waiting for their parents to fetch them.

She was nowhere to be found.

Two other mummies couldnt locate their kids too so the teachers freed up an area for us to park our cars.

I found Terelle in the playground, together with the two missing girls, She was holding court with a rapt audience, commanding everyone to watch as she gleefully dripped water from her wet hanky over her head.

Her uniform was drenched with sweat, her cheeks were flushed from mischief and exertion and her hair was soaking wet.
Her friends were in stitches. She was encouraged by their boisterous cheers.

I caught hold of her just as she was about to scoot off to the basin to get more water to pour over her head.

I let fly vitriol, she was unfazed.
I demanded to know who did she follow to the playground, she looked guilty.

So she was the one who instigated everyone to run off to the playground instead of waiting at the pick up point!
They must have snuck off when the teachers in charge at the pick up point weren't looking, cos it can get pretty chaotic during dismissal time.

Just at that moment, 2 teachers came down and started to ask the children to identify who ran off to the playground first.
Fortunately for her, one of her friends pointed the finger at another girl who was totally indignant at the accusation.
The teacher was really furious and gave all the perpetrators a good tongue lashing.

The ring leader was still totally unrepentant until i sat her down in the car and told her in all seriousness that if she were to do that again, Mummy would not be able to find her and take her home. Then she would have to spend the night ALL ALONE in the dark dark school.

Her eyes watered, she looked genuinely petrified.
"I promise i will wait for you at the pick up point, Mummy. I wont run away again."

Score!

However, just barely a minute later,
"But can i ask my friends to play catching with me at the pick up point?"

Ugh...a leopard can never change its spots...

Thursday, August 20, 2009

If tomorrow never comes

Sometimes late at night

I lie awake and watch her sleeping

She's lost in peaceful dreams and i turn out the lights and lay there in the dark

And a thought crosses my mind

If i never wake in the morning

Would she ever doubt the way i feel about her in my heart



If tomorrow never comes

Would she know how much i love her

Did i try in every way to show her everyday

She's my only one

And if my time on earth were through

And she must face this world without me

Is the love i gave her in the past gonna be enough to last

If tomorrow never comes


My best friend made me watch a youtube video of a talented singer crooning this ballad today. This song never fails to leave me with a lump in my throat.

And even though you have made me so incensed yet again throughout the day, with your constant whining, refusal to obey instructions and general mischief, tonight i will hug you a little tighter, give you a few more kisses and vow to be more tolerant, patient and indulgent towards your antics tomorrow.

To my special firstborn, i hope you know that no matter what, Mummy loves you, more than you can ever imagine.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Toxicity

These feelings are usually easy to write it off but today not so much.

I just HAVE to write about what happened today cos im just sooooo pissed, and i need to get it off my chest.

Are you a happy, optimistic, positive person by nature but when you're around a certain individual, you feel depressed, pessimistic and negative?

Or maybe you're an idealistic person who sees the world through rose tinted glasses, but some people just make you feel silly and delusional?

Has someone consistenly thrashed all your well intentions, not spared a thought for your feelings and yet leave you feeling guilty that somehow you hadnt tried hard enough?

These people ooze toxicity.
These people have 'issues' that are toxic.
They are toxic to our happiness.
They are toxic to our mental health.
They are toxic to our self-esteem.
And they are toxic to our lives.
They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.

I know this is happening to me because of a certain someone and yet i am powerless to defend myself.

My certain someone has an extreme sense of self-importance and believes that the world revolves around him/her.
(I shant be so overt about this. Lets just call the person X for ease of writing.)
Many a time the people around X want to shout "It isn't always about you!" , yet we always bite our tongues and get on with it to avoid conflict.

X is so utterly focused on his/her needs, our needs are totally ignored.
If you do not do just as X wishes, you are in for a big guilt trip, and are often left feeling upset, disappointed and unfulfilled.
And so to avoid feeling like crap, you abide by X's commands even when you have to expend so much energy on him/her, you have nothing left for yourself.

X is never encouraging, affirmative or upbeat.
When you say you've tried your best, he/she doubts your efforts and belittles any struggles you had to go through for him/her.
His/her negativity is infectious. It consumes you and you find yourself feeling melancholic and depressed just cos he/she is feeling that way.

I can never give enough to make X happy.
He/she takes me for granted, always has unrealistic expectations of me, finds ways to continually fault me and never takes responsibility for anything.
Everything is always someone else's fault and never his/hers.

All of us spend so much time and effort trying to please him/her .
Why do we even bother when none of our efforts are ever appreciated?
All of us are worn out, our own needs are always sacrificed and yet we keep making the same mistake and going back for more "torture".

This person is so self absorbed, he/she doesnt see that what he/she is doing is wrong.
Talking and explaining my actions to him/her falls on deaf ears, and sometimes i wonder if i am the crazy one.

Hubby is at his wits' end seeing me get all worked up by X all the time. He stresses that the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue.
I know that but yet i cant bring myself to take a confrontation to cataclysmic levels because i am afraid of the consequences.

I know life is too short to be dealing with such toxicity all the time.
I must learn to turn a deaf ear and blind eye to this peson's rants and demands.
I must learn that ive tried my best and it is not my fault.
And i must learn to hide my chocolates properly.

Friday, August 07, 2009

The big 20

Thane turns 20 months old today.

Physically he can:


Chew chunky food! Yay finally! He has almost his entire set of baby teeth, save for his 2 lower incisors.

Hold his own in the water. He is fearless in the water which is sooooo unlike Terelle who used to scream murder whenever her face got wet.

Throw and catch a ball effortlessly.

Play catching with his sister.

Climb the stairs by himself, holding onto the railings at the side.
(But he never dares go up or down the stairs by himself. He used to attempt to, but each time he does, he would meet with a barrage of loud, sharp words. So i think he's learnt that the stairs are dangerous.)

Blow out through his mouth. A nifty developmental skill that Terelle only picked up later.



Copy a couple of dance moves. The kids are especially adept at dancing along to Michael Jackson MTVS. They have been well and truly exposed to the late King of Pop.

When they are not fighting, he loves imitating his sister. Here he is trailing along in her wake, whistling, marching and saluting just like her.





Intellectually he can:


Recognize all the uppercase letters of the alphabets. Lower case letters still need a little prompting.

Knows the sounds of all the letters of the alphabet.
(Thanks to Leapfrog's Talking Letter Factory DVD)

Can count items from 1-10, any more his counting goes wonky.

Can segregate different sections of a picture, i.e. for example the beach scene below, he has colored the sun yellow, the crab and starfish red, the trees green, the sea blue, but all of cos not inside the lines.
But i think its a great effort!





Verbally he can:


Indicate what he wants by saying "I want!" whenever we have something in hand that he likes.

Right now gastronomically, he is starting to be very adventurous and will go "I want!" and insist on trying whatever we are having at mealtimes.
He has even managed small nibbles of mee rebus and rendang without flinching.

Tell our helper whenever he wants to drink milk - "Drink Milk!".
(Oh ive started him on formula - NanPro3 cos its supposedly most similar to breastmilk)
However he hates sucking from the teat, preferring to drink from his water bottle, from a straw.

Repeat after us quite accurately. I remember just a little over 2mths ago, i was asking hubby how come he hasnt started to say any coherent words yet and now here he is, talking fast and furious!

Say "Go Gai Gai!", grab his shoes and go stand by the gate at least once a day. He simply loves to go out!

Sing along to all of Jie Jie's favourite songs. Rhythm is there but words not so clear. For those songs he's not so sure of, he can sing the last word of each verse.


Emotionally:


He's still very much mama's little baby. Loves to be cuddled and hugged and will hug, kiss, sayang any of us when asked.
Much more "manja" than Terelle ever was!
I think its all because im still breastfeeding him.

Clings to us, or more specifically me, like superglue whenever in a new place and faced with strangers. Will warm up and start to explore his surroundings after awhile. The period of time taken to warm up significantly shortens when i am not in sight.
Did i mention he's mama's little boy?


He is adding new antics to his ever expanding repertoir everyday and i am eager to see what he can achieve next!
Im so proud of you baby!

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Sibling Interaction at its best



Scenario: They are both watching starfall. The letter L, which is Terelle's choice, is currently being played but Thane wants to watch the letter N.


Thane: N!


Terelle: Later


Thane: Nnn!


Terelle: Later!


Thane: Nnnnn!


Terelle: LATER!!


Thane: Nnnnn!! (He is so getting a kick out of riling his sister up)


Terelle: LATER!!! Can you hurry up! (Referring to the website loading very slowly)


Thane: Nnnnnn!


Terelle: Can you hurry up and see!!! (Telling Thane to finish watching L 1st) WAIT PATIENTLY!!


* Thane smacks her lightly in retaliation to her pinching his cheeks*


Terelle: (Looking at me and expecting a response)


*Resigned and feeling unjustified* He beat me!


*Reproachful* Naughty boy! Dont play with you!

No matter how many times i watch this video, it still leaves me in stitches.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Gong Gong is...

We were in the car and Terelle was commenting that Baby was a good boy cos he didnt want to nurse for once and sat quietly in his car seat.

T: Baby is a good boy!

Me: And what about you?

T: Me? Im a good girl

M: And mummy?

T: Mummy is a good girl

M: Daddy?

T: Daddy is a good boy

M: What about YiYi?

T: Yiyi is a good girl

M: And Gong Gong?

T: *slight pause* Gong Gong is a good old man!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Current fav pics

These are my current favourite pics of the sibs.

Taken at Ikea, he was trying out a kiddy rattan chair. When asked to smile, he gave a wonky little smirk. He looks so grown up now!

Terelle is now fixated on using chopsticks. Here she is having noodles and using her training pair. I know im biased, but with her coy smile, she looks oh so sweet!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Our "romantic" getaway

We are jinxed - by our kids.

What was supposed to be a romantic hotel stay to celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary in June got postphoned 3 times cos all of us took turns to fall sick.

Finally the room was booked over the past weekend and hubby and i were looking forward to spending some quality time together - at last...


And then....


The morning we were supposed to leave for our staycation, Terelle woke up with red, itchy and watery eyes.

Alarm bells rang in my head.
That's it, I thought, there goes our weekend plans. AGAIN!

As she had no other symptoms, Hubby dropped her off at school as usual, only to have her form teacher call me an hour later ordering us to take her home, cos her itchy eyes were bothering her.

We quickly brought her to the gp who diagnosed conjunctivitis and prescribed eye drops.


Time check 1145am.
We still had time to get her sorted out before we set off to check in at 2pm.

Optimistic, we brought her home, administered the eye drops, put her down for her nap and waited for Sis to arrive so we could scram.

To our dismay, she woke up screaming half an hour later, complaining that both her ears were painful. I figured it might be an ear infection so we rushed to the pd immediately cos the gp was by now closed.

Sure enough, pd diagnosed it to be an ear and eye nfection and we were sent home with one eye drop, one eye lotion, ear drops and an anti viral medicine.

By now, our friend was getting increasingly whiny and clingy, it was as if she knew we were going to sneak off!

We were only able to extricate ourselves at 6pm, and checked in at the hotel downtown at 645pm. The idyllic afternoon of shopping, movie and eating that i envisioned just went up in smoke.


We felt uneasy leaving the poor sick gal at home so after a hurried dinner, we drove home again to check on her. Went through the bedtime routines, administered the truckload of meds, gave instructions to helper, sis and dad to call us if her condition worsens in the middle of the night; we finally went back to our supposed "sanctuary" at close to midnight.


Luckily there was a 24 hr TCC nearby to offer some grub and comfort to 2 weary souls.

Comfort food at 2am
It was pretty fun sitting by the sidewalk and gawking at the trannies doing their rounds near Shaw Towers - some of these man chicks were really hot!

The next day, we were determined to enjoy ourselves for a bit.
After repeated phonecalls home, we were satisfied that the kids were still alive without us, so we headed out for a nice dimsum brunch and a leisurely look see at the new ION orchard.


It was EXTREMELY liberating traipsing around town without having to negotiate escalators, staircases and throngs of people with 2 strollers and 2 demanding kids!

That night we had a nice peaceful dinner with the Liews and caught up with old friends over supper.
It was bliss - no schedules to follow, no whiny, demanding kids, no frazzled nerves. It was just us back to pre-kids days, having fun and hanging out with our friends.
Us as we were in the past, not us as parents, as we have inadvertently become.


And although the kids were fine without us at home,
(Thane actually slept through the night without waking up to nurse!
He went without breastmilk for 1.5 days!
Terelle's condition didnt worsen!
Both ate well, slept well and didnt miss us one bit!)
we came back the next morning to fetch them back to the hotel.


Having dinner on the toilet while keeping an eye on the kids in the bath

Can parenthood be more diligent than this?

So there you are, our so called romantic getaway.


We firmly believe we are jinxed. Cos everytime we set up something fun for ourselves or just go out for a couple of hours' break, we'll come back to some calamity involving the kids. Or are we such bad parents that we do not deserve breaks at all?


Hubby thinks this is what transpires between the kids whenever they sense we are going off somewhere without them.

Terelle: Hey pipsqueak! Mummy and Daddy are sneaking off tomorrow.

Thane: Har...does it mean we have to make ourselves sick again?

Terelle: Ya lah, of cos! So isit ur turn or my turn this time?

Thane: Your turn lah! The last time u made me lick the raw meat and i had gastroenteritis for a week!

Terelle: OK OK...so what shall i come down withthis time? Flu? Fever? Baluku on head?

*Out comes a spinner on which is written a myriad of illnesses and injuries. They spin it*

Terelle: Awww man! Conjunctivitis?? Damn its uncomfortable you know!

*Proceeds to touch the toilet and rub her eyes*

Thane: *sniggering* And u think having diarrhea for a week is comfortable??


Plausible, dont you think?
As i write this, im so missing my lazy, hazy saturday already. I really wonder when we can have another break...a proper, guilt free, incident free one...
Sigh...
Kids if you are able to read this now, its payback time!!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Mafia Boss

My daughter is a mafia boss.


Her form teacher took me aside today and commented that she has incited her friends, on many occasions, to create mischief.

She will come up will silly antics when everyone is doing serious work and divert her classmates' attention from their tasks at hand.

She will entice her friends to join her in a splashing good time at the sinks in the toilet, only running back to class in fits of giggles when the teacher detects their absence and comes to look for them 10min later.

She will say silly things and contort her face and leave everyone in hysterics every opportunity she gets.


As a result, her teacher tells me that many a time, she has been made to stay back to complete her work. She would grudgingly sit at her desk and do her coloring/phonics/chinese strokes/craft while her friends play with toys or troop off to the playground.

Her teacher says she is beginning to disregard her authority and I am concerned.



I have noticed that my daughter has a natural ability to influence the kids around her.

Whenever she is playing with a toy or doing something, the other kids invariably end up being drawn towards her and they will all crowd around to see what she is doing.

She will say something ridiculous and all her cronies will repeat it after her and all of them will collapse in fits of laughter.

She takes a sticker and places it on her forehead and everyone else does the same. She proclaims that she's an "Ah-neh!" and everyone else chants it after her.

She entices her friends in games of police and thief, with her invariably being the flight footed thief that no one ever manages to catch.


And yet, despite all the tomfoolery she creates, she is amazingly protective of her friends.

She makes it her responsibility to watch over her quieter and meeker classmates, making sure they have their snack, that their water bottle is in the right place, that their name tag is pinned properly.

When they report to school everyday, all the kids' temperature are taken and their mouths and hands are checked for spots before they are allowed into class. A teacher is always on hand to record their temperatures beside their names on the class register.
And mafia boss is always there telling the teacher exactly who's who in the queue of kids waiting to get their temperature recorded.

After everyone is checked, she will wait at the staircase and round everyone up before holding the meeker kids' hands and ushering them up to class.

Anyone and everyone seems to know Terelle.
Hubby has witnessed her giving permission to some kids (not from her class!) to go to the playground after school.

I have seen her playing with the older K1 and K2 kids while waiting for me to arrive to fetch her home.

And the clincher:
I didnt send and fetch her to school for the whole week that i was sick. When hubby went to fetch her, he overheard a kid running up to her and asking her if her mummy was still sick.
It was akin to you showing concern over the wellbeing of your boss' family and scoring points at the same time.

To which came her flippant reply," Yes yes she is ok now" before dismissing the minion with a wave of her hand.

*gasp* The entire school seems to know i was sick, through her...

Surreal...totally surreal...

We had better steer her in the right direction before she leads everyone astray. I dont want to be responsible for other kids' errant behavior.

Ugh.

Friday, July 17, 2009

The stubborn bug saga

As i write this post, i really hope im seeing the end of this particularly feisty bug that has been plaguing my family for the past month and a half.


It all started with Thane.


He came down with a fever on the day of our wedding anniversary, which was 15th June, a Monday.



Having a nice buffet lunch, oblivious to the "battle" we had to fight soon

After a nice day out together, we came home to my mum in law's house to find him burning up. We gave him paracetamol and a cool bath and thought nothing much of it, cos her house is a furnace and we concluded he was probably suffering from mild heat stroke and dehydration.

We started to get worried when his fever yo-yoed up and down, registering highs of 38.5degrees over the next 2 days. To make matters worse, he had 6 teeth erupting at the same time and his appetite was almost zilch.

As there were no other symptoms, i was beginning to worry it could be a urinary tract infection so I brought him to the pd on Wednesday just to get him checked out.

Turned out it was a throat infection and after 3 doses of her prescribed antibiotic, his fever subsided.

Here they are, full of energy, despite being sick

By the way, the toddler bed will always be put in the living room for us to nurse whichever kid that is sick. One, for isolation purposes and two, temperature taking and sponging throughout the nite is less disruptive to those who are sleeping, if it were to be done downstairs.

So the toddler bed was a permanent fixture in our living room for close to 2 weeks when the kids took turns to use it.


Thinking that the worst was over, we went for Thane's weekly LNT class on Friday and even met up with the entire family on Saturday to celebrate Fathers' Day.

To our dismay, his fever came back on Sunday and by evening, it even reached a high of 39.5 degrees. He also had 4 bouts of diarrhea that day.

By then hubby was starting to get frantic cos he was so afraid of witnessing a replay of Terelle's fit when she had high fever 2 years ago. So we inserted a suppository and quickly rushed to kkh to get him checked out.

At the hospital, his fever began to subside and the doctor diagnosed him to be having viral gastroenteritis. She said it was a different bug from the one in his throat and all we had to do was manage the fever and watch for dehydration from the diarrhea.

Thankfully, everything cleared after another 2 days.


But then Terelle was next.

She started to develop a fever of 38degrees on Tuesday and similarly, it yo-yoed up and down over the next 2 days.



Having an ice popsicle treat to bring down her fever

Surprisingly that was about it.

She had no other symptoms and was hale and hearty again in just 2 days. And through it all she was her usual self, bouncing off the walls and inciting Baby Bone to mischief even though she was burning up.



Here she is, teaching him to do something cheeky as usual



He hero worships her and will copy whatever she does

So it was time to celebrate!

The kids were happy and healthy once more!

Time to head out again cos they had been stuck at home the past 2 weeks!



Modelling Yiyi's sunglasses at a dessert shop just before heading to the indoor playground


And here we are enjoying a nice steamboat dinner sans kids, to replenish all the lost energy during those sleepless nights taking care of the kids

How wrong we were!

That night, it was my turn to succumb to the bug. I started to feel lousy right after the steamboat and woke up in the middle of the night with a fever and chills. My throat also felt as though there were bits of glass in it and swallowing was pure torture.

That was Sunday.

My fever only hovered around 38degrees but i felt like i had been hit by a truck. I marvelled at how the kids could still prance around the house when they registered higher temperatures than I did.

Went to the doc the next day but could only take mild med cos i am still breastfeeding Thane. By Wednesday, my fever still had not subsided, my throat was killing me and i had frequent bouts of diarrhea too. I felt so nauseous and bloated and could hardly sleep, i was feeling that uncomfortable. I couldnt take it any more and went back to the doc to beg for stronger med and some antibiotics.

Thursday came and went and i wasnt any better. Thankfully, the mum of one of Terelle's classmates volunteered to help me send and fetch her to school. I was so weak i could hardly stand. All i could manage to do was drag myself from the bed to the toilet and back again.


Hubby had to leave for a business trip on Friday and i was still burning. I was also getting frustrated and helpless that i couldnt shake the darn bug. This was one of the rare times i was so sick!


My fever only finally subsided on Saturday and by Sunday, i was 80% back to normal. 7 feverish, comatosa days! Well i lost some weight in the process...only good thing that came out of it. *grin*


But that wasnt the end.
Hubby left for his business trip already nursing a sore throat. He came back on Sunday and by Monday, it was his turn to burn up. The doc only gave him a 3 day course of antibiotics but after the 3rd day, all his symptoms abated so he thought he had fully recovered.

Alas the nasty bug fought back with a vengeance and by that sunday, he had chills and a fever again, in addition to a chesty cough which left him breathless.

A 2nd visit to a different doc, some new med and 3 days later, still no improvement. In fact he seemed to have deteriorated, with his phlegm showing streaks of blood.*gasp*

A 3rd visit to the original doc returned a dire prognosis - bronchitis, the bug was now ravaging his lungs. She prescribed a stronger antibiotic and warned him that if he got any worse, he would have to go to the hospital to be treated for pneumonia.

And so, as i write this, he has already been on the new course of antibiotics for a week and is due for a review tomorrow. Hopefully he is finally on the mend.

Conclusion: Same bug, different manifestation...and Terelle is the strongest of us all?

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

One day in Your Life

Yes this is gonna be another eulogy and no prizes for guessing who is it about.

Just finished watching the encore telecast of Michael Jackson's Memorial. I must say that it evoked a myriad of emotions in me.


Happiness.

Im happy that he is finally free of all the people who constantly found fault with him, who sniggered at him as he underwent his dramatic facial reconstructions, who watched and waited for a chance to hurl abuse at him if and when he slipped up.

These same detractors pinned child molestation charges on him and gloated when he fell from grace in the pubic's eyes.

I chose to ignore those reports that he allegedly molested kids. In my eyes, MJ was a soft spoken and kind guy, a symbol of love and peace who loved children above everything else. When he settled those lawsuits out of court, i wanted to believe it was because he'd rather an amicable resolution than a lengthy public court case, and not an admission of his guit.

As MJ's brother so aptly put when he gave his eulogy,"Just how much pain can one take?"

The tabloids were splashed with all the sensational reports on how frail and sickly he looked and the immense pain he was in both physically and mentally just before he died.

Im glad that he is finally in a place where nothing and no one can hurt him anymore.
God must have been pained that he had to endure so much suffering in his life and so called him back home early.


Sadness.

I grew up listening to MJ's songs.

I vividly remember rewinding and playing the song "Ben" over and over again on my little cassette tape recorder, to try and figure out the chords so i could sing and play it on the guitar at the same time.

I remember valiantly trying to do the moonwalk with my cousins, but failing miserably yet having a good laugh in the process.

MJ is the ONLY pop star whom EVERYONE knows. Ask any coffeeshop uncle who MJ is and chances are, he might start singing in a falsetto, do the moonwalk and grab his crotch. But ask him again who is Justin Timberlake and he'll go "Har? Justin Si Siang?"

No other pop star will EVER be immortalised the way MJ has become.



Gratitude and Pride

When i watched the choir sing "We are the World" and "Heal the World", it dawned on me that these 2 songs have become anthems which the whole world sings. For the duration of the songs, just a couple of minutes, the whole world is truly united as everyone sings along to the all familiar lyrics.

You dont need a lyric sheet to sing these songs, unless you've been living under a rock the past 20 years. MJ's influence on you was just so strong that these lyrics have been ingrained in your mind. He has truly found a way to unite the world, if only for awhile, through his music, for only his music transcends all races and all religions.


And i am grateful to have been in this era when he was alive, where i had a chance to be touched by his music.

Hubby and I have been playing a couple of his earlier hits from youtube, for the kids to watch. We have been showing them Michael Jackson as we know him, in his earlier days, when he was untouched by garish makeup and plastic surgery, when he was untainted by scandals.
We want to expose them to the King of Pop, whom sadly they will not get a chance to know as intimately as us.


I could write so much more on MJ but so many tributes have already been written to him. So i shall be laconic for once.
In the words of his eerily prophetic song which is coincidently one of my favourites


"One day in your life

You'll remember the love you found here

You'll remember me somehow, though you dont need me now

I will stay in your heart

And when things fall apart

You'll remember one day"





Enjoy the King of Pop at his best.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

What now, What next?

I am going through a phase in which im constantly questioning my role as a stay-at-home-mum. Day after day passes, some in meaningless drudgery, some with satisfying results.


I find myself dwelling too long and too often on whether it is all worthwhile.

What would i have become if i had chosen a different path with my life?

What could i have achieved?


A doctor? Perhaps.
I have the constitution of an ox; i fall sick only like once every 2 years, am good with kids and think i have much better bedside manner than alot of other doctors ive seen.
I would have been a great paediatrician, i know it.

A principal? Most of my ex colleagues in school have gone on with their careers and have achieved success climbing up the education hierarchy. I could have been among their circles right now, but would it be something i enjoy doing?

A journalist? A business woman? A hot shot in some big company?


Well, all these are just wishful thinking on my part right now. I cannot turn back time nor can i ever hope to become any of these for the rest of my life.

And all because i chose this path - to become a sahm.


Yet I realise that im starting to take my children's lives too personally.

When they get injured under my watch, i beat myself up to no end cos i was responsible for their pain.

They cant read while their peers can; i berate myself for not having read to them more often.

They utter something hurting; i wonder why and get very upset cos i dont understand why they hate me so when ive tried so hard for them.

My children's every failure has made me bombard myself with countless thoughts of "I should have done that instead".

I care too much about everything and when things dont go as i have planned or envisioned them to be, i get frustrated and upset.

I would imagine this being akin to going for a performance review at work and having your boss tell you that you suck in many areas. It can sometimes be depressing and debilitating.



True, the rewards come in other forms.

My daughter proudly telling her friends that store bought snacks are no match to my home baked cookies.

Her eyes wide with joy when i present a pair of hand painted shoes of her favourite little mermaid (which i spent an entire night working on), to her.

A paper bracelet painstakingly strung together by little fingers, which now sits proudly on my nightstand.

A picture of me messily colored in by the both of them, but which i treasure greatly cos it was their 1st joint effort at drawing my portrait.

A tower of blocks carefully constructed and proudly declared to be "Mummy's castle", and that ill get a real one when she grows up and builds a real one for me.

Everyday occurences and snippets of conversation about everything and anything, all etched vividly in my mind.


But the children are starting to become my life's entire purpose.

After all ive poured out blood, sweat and tears just for them and they are supposed to be living proof that im not wasting my time at home.


My son's precociousness, his milestones...my daughter's excellent memory, powers of observation and speech. I take pride in them and it is through them that i find self validation.

And that scares me.



For in just a few years time, when they are all packed off to school, what's going to happen to me then? How will i find alternative forms of self validation?

Mine is a 24/7 job that pays no salary, makes no cpf contributions, let alone hand out performance bonuses. Ive left the job market for so long now, i dont think i can ever go back and accept starting right from the bottom again.


And so right now, i have to look for some pittance of an alternative income - its my way to self validate and to safeguard my mind for when the kids are grown.

Im not the kind to sit around and do nothing for the rest of my days. But when the time comes and ive all the time in the world again, will my few tuition and writing assigments be sufficient to keep me occupied, and most importantly keep my mind challenged?

Im seriously afraid.

Monday, June 15, 2009

At 18 months

Thane has finally progressed beyond unintelligible babbling!

He can call us all by name:
Pa Pa
Mare Mee (Mummy)
Che Che (Jie Jie, it used to be "chee chee" but now he has gotten the hang of it)
Ko Ko (Gong Gong)
Per Per (Por Por, it sounds like "per" as in the sound the letter P makes, but we know what he means)
Yee Yee (He does this best, with lots of glee and a great deal of panache. Arent you proud, sis?)
Yeh Yeh
Ma Ma
Ah Tee (Aunty, our helper)
Bay Bee (baby-himself)

He can indicate his intentions:
Go (when he wants go out)
There (when we ask where does he wanna go)
Hey Oh (Hello)

Ball (His favourite toy right now is a yellow soccer ball)
Bear Bear
Egg Bird (Big Bird from Sesame Street)
Eh Mo (Elmo)
Car

He has a distinct preference for the color yellow.
When in the ball pit of any indoor playground, he will seek out all the yellow balls and try to hoard them all, screaming murder if anyone tries to take them away.
At dinner time, he will always choose the yellow plastic spoon over all the others.
He has 3 pairs of shoes, one yellow and 2 blue. Whenever we go out, he will always go for the yellow pair.
Similarly for toys, stickers, markers, crayons, you name it...he will always zoom in on the yellow colored one and not let go.

Loves the song "C is for Cookie" by Cookie Monster
He will clap and bob along to the rhythm of the song whenever any of us sings it. Terelle will usually trash the lyrics by purposely singing some rubbish to the same tune but he seems to find this even more amusing and will laugh hysterically at her version.

Loves books
He will come running to anyone who has a book in hand, sit down quietly and listen while we tell him the story. And i am glad to notice that because of this, Terelle has begun to want to read more, cos she sees her baby brother always totally absorbed in their books.

He can sing the alphabet song!
Well not exactly...but he can make almost the right sound for each particular letter, and follow exactly in tune and rhythm!
He can also pick out several letters correctly when we ask him to.

When asked "What's your name?"
He will answer "Teen!"

When we point to pictures of him and ask who is that, he will go "Me Me Me!"

Can make correct animal sounds...
Dog: Woof Woof
Cat: Meeeeiow
Cow: Mooooooo
...and point out all the different animals whenever we ask where they are, even atypical ones like dinosaur, ostrich, koala, mole and lemur!

Although Terelle was way more advanced in speech at the same age (she could string together short sentences by 18mths), im proud that he has made such progress so far!

Keep it up baby!

On an entirely different note, at 18mths we brought Terelle to France. When Thane turned 18mths, we brought him to Sentosa.
Talk about sidelining no2? hahahah...
 

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