Amidst all the exchanges of points of views regarding the repealing of section 377A, I feel compelled to pen a few thoughts of my own. Facebook posts run the gamut of emotions; from well meaning justifications to self righteous rants to even outright condemnation.
In my opinion, religion should never be used to influence legislature. To force certain groups of people to unequivocally accept the beliefs of others is potentially dangerous. When religion is brought into the picture, the whole tone of this discussion takes on a tinge of indignation, fear and even incites hate. And when religious leaders use excessively strong words like "battle, army, destruction, war..." on a divisive community issue, it is not difficult to understand why these extreme emotions run high.
We pride ourselves on being multi racial and multi religious. So shouldn't everyone possess the conviction to agree to disagree and shouldn't everyone have the right to exist differently?
To put it simply, no one should take away the conviction to stand by one's own beliefs from anyone else.
Laws are written to make sure that certain behaviors are adhered to. The law in question criminalizes homosexuality in Singapore. Criminalizes. That's a pretty strong word.
Suppose roles were reversed and homosexuality is the norm while heterosexuals were the minority, how would it feel to know that you are branded a criminal for behaving in the only way that you know of?
Just because we cannot envision a similar lifestyle for ourselves, does that mean that gives us the right to condemn it?
Nobody is forcing anyone to be gay. So why should we force others to be straight? And how is it even fair to eradicate homosexuality forcefully through legislation?
The reason for this post is because I have a son. And all the recent hoo-ha has got me thinking.
What if one day my son comes home and tells me that he is gay?
Would I be able to accept him for who he is and continue to cheer him along his life journey as I have always been doing?
I believe no one consciously chooses this life. A life of controversy, discrimination and pain.
Perhaps we should all take a piece of paper right now; crumple it up, stomp on it, draw on it and really mess it up. But do not rip it to shreds. Now let's unfold it and smooth it out and tell it we are sorry and that we will try to fix it up. But no matter how we try, the lines and marks will be left behind. And those scars will never go away.
And so, if one day my son tells me he's gay, I will celebrate his uniqueness. For if he can't even gain acceptance from his nearest and dearest, what chance will he have against his detractors in society?
And I will give him the mettle to weather the crumpling, stomping and messing up of his life such that he will never feel he bears marks of shame but rather battle scars that he can be proud of.
My cousin is a lesbian. She plays in a band and is a part time actress. Another uncle is gay. He is an accomplished hairstylist with international acclaim. I have friends who are gays and lesbians and they are smart, creative, funny and interesting people.
If we could all just look beyond their lifestyles and see them simply for the individuals that they are, with the same hopes, dreams, needs and wants as we do; then we would really start taking the steps towards becoming a truly inclusive society.
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