Why so, u may ask?
1. The kids love to fight sleep. After the routine bedtime stories, teeth brushing and washing up, they will go to their room and laugh, squeal, bounce around, do somersaults and basically egg each other on to see who can create a greater ruckus.
No amount of yelling, threatening or scolding on my part will make them stop. Only until their last ounce of energy is spent will they lie down , exhausted but satisfied.
I cant leave them alone because they love to play rough and i have to keep an eye on the baby, lest his sister breaks his bones in her over zealous enthusiasm.
And so there i sit, in semi darkness, while they run riot beside me. And i am helpless until all their energy is exhausted.
2. Once they're pooped, I have to breastfeed Thane to sleep and keep Terelle company at the same time. If im lucky, breastfeeding him will take a mere 15min. If im not, it can drag up to 2 hours.
If he's down fast enough, ill have to play dead beside Terelle till she falls asleep. Some nights she takes a long time to go down, and ill invariably end up falling asleep in a weird position, waking up with a bad crick in my neck/shoulder, totally numb arms and a pounding headache.
Again, i cant up and leave cos Terelle insists i stay. If not she will launch into her hysterics and follow me around the house, simply refusing to stay put in her room.
She claims that Baby Bone is too small to protect her from the monster in her room.
Tsk tsk, you may go. Bad sleep habits, i know, especially the breastfeeding Thane to sleep part.
Trust me, ive tried letting him fall asleep on his own. But he'll either cry himself hoarse or wait up and continue playing till i come and nurse him to sleep.
Many a time have i come home from tuition to find him still wide awake at 1030pm cos he's waiting for me. He is obviously tired, but the stubborn boy just wont rest till he's got the breasts.
3. Once they are asleep, im torn between going to bed early and catching up on my forever insufficient sleep or spending some precious quality time with hubby. Cos it is only after the kids sleep do we get to chat, watch some tv or have a bite of supper together.
I always wind up choosing hubby over sleep, resulting in an even bigger sleep debt which i dont think i can ever dream of repaying.
4. When i finally get to bed, i am thoroughly beat. I dread to think that any moment, the baby will wake and ive to go tend to him, leaving me with another night of broken sleep.
If he doesnt nurse, he will want to sleep on my chest for comfort. Imagine a 11kg weight crushing your ribcage. Sleep? What sleep?
If i ignore him, he will stuff his little fingers in my nostrils and yank my face towards him.
If i still resolutely pay no attention to him, he will start to howl. And ill surrender. Cos if he snaps out of his half asleep daze, that's it for me. He'll be bouncing off the walls for the next 2 hours.
And so ill end up spending the next half hour nursing him, me wide eyed in the dark, the rest of my family snoring contentedly around me.
We've tried letting him cry it out when he wakes but ultimately, one of us will give in, usually hubby, cos he has to work the next day.
"Just give him the breast and shut him up!", he would fume.
I would yield when his cries turn into wracking sobs that leave him shuddering for breath.
We've tried giving him water when he wakes to nurse but he takes a few sips and starts to howl again.
We've tried giving him a bottle of milk. Same thing.
We've tried singing, rocking, bouncing, talking...nothing works.
He just wants the mammaries.
Worst of all, he doesnt even drink properly. He just sucks for comfort.
Terelle, god bless her little soul, never had such sleep issues. As soon as her energy is all used up, she sleeps like a dream. No amount of screaming on her brother's part can wake her and she will sleep her requisite 10hours straight at night.
And this is on top of her standard 2 hour nap in the afternoon.
I know its bad to compare, but why is it so damn hard to put Thane to sleep?
Have i really done wrong by not inculcating good sleep habits from young?
Ill give anything if he can sleep independently without nursing and sleep throughout the night just like his sister.
As a stay at home mum, ive had to deal with many challenges regarding raising the kids; tantrums, whining, illnesses, discipline...But NOTHING, nothing comes close to dealing with Thane's sleep issues.
Because of him, im constantly tired, crabby and snapping at everyone all the time. Ive no energy for my beloved sports and can hardly engage the kids in meaningful activities in the day.
I dont know how long more of this i can take. Already my days go by in a woozy daze because i only get 5 hours (max) of broken sleep every night.
If anyone has any ideas, please give me some new insights to resolve this nightmare, if not i think ill seriously go cuckoo from lack of sleep.
5 comments:
Jia you... I left a comment on Ryan's blog also. Apologise for barging in. Anyhow, in our case, my son has his own room so we shut the windows and doors (noise control) and let him cry it out with controlled crying - cry 5 minutes, 2 minutes going in and talking and then another 5 minutes of crying etc. It was very horrible for a week or so of that - then he finally cried only every half an hour from 2 to 5 (short cries, less than 5 min) and then after we kept him up one day, he slept through. We were adamant that the breast was not to be a pacifier and made it very clear to him from very early... The moment wife felt he was nursing for fun, she broke latch.
Nonetheless, it's not easy, and I don't mean to say it is. All the best.
Hi,
i face the EXACT same problem (is it actually e kid's fault?) as u. my daughter has to b latched on to sleep n will need to suckle just for comfort or fun. e thing is, i've grown so used to tis. like thane, she will not sleep unless she drinks fr me. so wat i do is, i accept tis routine (n yes, i've tried every conceivable method to change tis). she wants e breast? i give it to her. it's become a part n parcel of my life already. just tat it really takes a toll on me e following day. haha.. i wonder when this will end because my son self weaned at 15 mths..whereas for her, it's been 18 mths n she has shown no signs whatsoever of weaning.
i totally agree wif u abt spendg quality time wif e hb bit. like urself, aft e kids finally retire for e nite, we try to do some catching up for e day. in silence. *bleargh* it's really so sad when i tink abt it. but as women, we DEFINITELY need to hv tis communicatn wif our hbs.
if u ask me how i keep my sanity..for me, wat keeps me going is, i 'accept but try to improvise'. my kids hv e worst sleeping schedule in e world i tink but it's becz they sleep alot in e day (hence can't sleep in e nites). i used to be v regimented abt their sleepg times but i learnt to cut some slack for myself. like if my son doesnt want to sleep, i try not to force him. i normally let him 'loose' while i bf e girl to sleep..n during e time, i negotiate wif him (alot). like, "mommy is breastfeedg ur sis now..so u can do ur stuff..but when i'm done, i want u on e pillow ok?" i try my v best not to threaten him..but sometimes, dun threaten cannot. *grrrr*
i know it's not easy on u (as it is on me)..more so it's e hols now..but i hv tis strong feelg that they will outgrow tis after 2. tat's not too far away. =) hang in there.
Hi anonymous,
I agree with you totally. I try to console myself that they wont be so needy for long and that i'll probably miss this when they outgrow this phase. (haha will you?) that's what keeps my spirits up...when they're teenagers they'll probably wont want me at all anymore rite?
thanks for your support and encouragement. at least i know im not alone.
:)
Hello,i Love to read Terrelle and Thane's Blog and your very own. Been reading them since Terelle's a baby. You guys made mi cry and laugh. You write very well and protrayed motherhood in a way nobody else seems to put it but thats how it is. What am I talking abt, well i just wan to say I LOVE YOUR BLOGS! Do visit us too if you like! We are at http://www.littleprincesscharlene.blogspot.com/
Hi Sharon!
Thanks for your kind words, honored to know u enjoy reading about our lives! haha...
yup will visit your blog, infact ill put in on my link list. ;)
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