Working too hard?

Ive been giving tuition for years but for the longest time this year, ive had no luck in getting assignments.
However, recently God has been good to me and all of a sudden im bombarded with so many referrals for tuition that i have to turn down many assignments.

Im very thankful for the work coming my way and the financial independence it proffers, not to mention the immense satisfaction from knowing that i actually count again.
I can earn my own keep!
Im no longer just a yellow-faced, thumb twiddling housewife whose entire world revolves around the 4 walls of her home!
The rusty cogs of my brain are turning once more!


It feels good to be able to buy stuff for the kids with my own money or to pay for their enrichment classes or workshops without having to consult hubby.

I can also treat myself to an indulgent snack if i fancy it. (it used to be "What? $3.90 for fried taiwanese chicken pieces? sigh...ill pass")

Hell, I can even buy little surprise gifts for hubby!
In the past a gift for him didnt feel like it was a real gift cos i was using his money to buy it!

But i wonder if im working too hard and spending too much time away from the kids.
After all i did quit my job to be a stay at home mum in order to spend time with the kids.

My typical day goes as follows:


Morning

Chauffeur the kids to enrichment classes/school. Thane attends classes at 9am so if Terelle is awake by the time we need to leave the house, I will get her changed and ready for school and take her along for a spot of breakfast as our helper accompanies Thane in class.
After he is done with class, i will send Terelle off to school.


(On a sidenote, I lament the fact that i seldom am able to accompany Thane in his classes because if Terelle is around, she always demands my attention and refuses to have breakfast with our helper and let me go to class with Thane.

Yes we do have a good time bonding over breakfast, as we read storybooks, do a couple of activity books and draw funny pictures together.

But i get this niggling sense of guilt that Thane seldom has mummy's undivided attention, unlike Jie Jie in the past, who had mummy all to herself.

Terelle went everywhere with me, literally. Even when i had to give tuition, i would bring her along and she would play with my student's siblings with nary a complaint.

Sigh the pitfalls of being the 2nd child...)



Midday

After Terelle is off at school, ill take Thane home, put him to sleep and rush to the gym for an hour's workout, ending just in time for me to go pick her up from school.
Sometimes if any of my students are home early from school, ill schedule tuition during this time so that i can be home for a longer stretch in the afternoon.



Afternoon
After showering Terelle and giving her a snack, ill put her down to nap, wolf down my lunch and rush out for tuition. Usually ill have at least 2 sessions a day and ill only return at evening time. This means that after their nap, Terelle would have spent about 2 hrs playing with our helper while Thane would have spent at least 4 hrs.



Evening
Ill have dinner with the kids and after playing with them for about an hour, its time to start the bedtime routines.


Im concerned because lately, Thane has been clinging to me like a limpet each time i return home. If im occupied and cannot tend to him immediately, he cries inconsolably and keeps saying "I want mummy!"


Terelle has also commented that she seldom sees me at home anymore. And sometimes whenever she is excited about something and wants me to share her excitement, she calls me "Aunty!" and then "Mummy!" *horrors*

Is my working 4 hours a day too much for my kids? Cant i have my cake and eat it too?

Sigh...


I still want my stay at home mum status to be a badge of honor and not become a subject of contention.
And so i shall cringe and turn away yet more lucarative assignments because after all, my kids are still my top priority.