At 28 months...

Terelle is already 28months old and soon will no longer fit the description of a toddler, but rather a child. Some updates on her development, mainly for myself to reminisce about when she is older!

At 28 months...

* She is 89cm tall and weighs 12kg

* Has been fully toilet trained since she was 2 years old. Only has to wear a diaper to bed at night and when she naps in the afternoon (cos she takes marathon naps of 3-3.5hrs!)

* Loves all kinds of fruits, i never have to force her to eat them. It is much more tricky with foods though. She dislikes vegetables (courtesy of her Daddy) and will spit them out if they are not finely chopped up and camouflaged with the rest of her meal. Loves chicken wings, noodles, cheese and steamed fish (thankfully!) Everything else has to be finely cut up before she can be conned into swallowing them!

* She can recognize all the alphabets but has yet learnt how to read. I have realised that she thrives on experiential learning and that making her sit down to learn her phonics is an almost impossible task. She has a short attention span and gets bored easily. She requires constant stimulation by varied sights and sounds and rote learning simply bores her to death. Sigh, i need some inspiration to come up with new and exciting word games to make her learn how to read!

* She can count from 1-10 in 3 languages: English, Mandarin and French. In the process of teaching her to continue up to 20. She gets it sometimes in English and Mandarin but French is still abit wonky.

* Finally able to recognize colors proficiently in English. Was starting to worry that perhaps she was color blind when all objects were pronounced to be "Red!"
However, now all objects are "Hong se!" (mandarin for red) But this time i wont worry that she wont get it in the end!

* Loves to sing in all 3 languages, and can even make up silly songs on her own, complete with her very own made up lyrics. Very hilarious when she starts singing the words "Mummy mummy go away!" to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars, when I try to get her to eat just that few more mouthfuls of rice.
Favourite songs: All english songs basically, for mandarin she loves "Xiao Ya - Duckling song" and "Yi shan yi shan liang jing jing - Twinkle twinkle", French "Joyeux Anniversaire - Happy Birthday" and "Tete epaule genoux et pieds - Head shoulders Knees and Toes"

* Adept at answering "Who, What, Why, When, How?" questions. Her carefully thought out hilarious answers sometimes leaves us in stitches. My favourite past time is "chatting" with her about anything in particular. Sample conversation:

Me: Terelle who is at the door?
T: Scary uncle
Me: What is the scary uncle doing there?
T: Waiting to catch me
Me: Why does he want to catch you?
T: Because...because im naughty
Me: How did he get there?
T: By aeroplane
Me: When is he going to go home?
T: When he wants to sleep

* Tries her utmost to get out of having her hair washed every night. Every single night without fail, she will look at you with expectant, shining eyes and ask imploringly "No wash hair?" To which i will reply cheerfully "Must wash hair!" Now she kinda accepts her nightly fate with a resigned "Ok my hair is stinko..."

* Behavior wise, I am happy to say that she responds well to negotiating. I do not have to resort to hitting or caning her as i believe that that should always be the last resort. She will usually abide by my requests and listen to my commands. For example, when i tell her that it is not nice to snatch toys and that she must share them or else no one will play with her in the future, she will usually give up the toy obligingly. That having been said, all negotiations will cease when she is in a foul mood, especially when she is sleepy, and amidst much screaming and crying, the desired toy will still not be relinquished.

* She is well and truly Daddy's girl - she can get away with just about anything with her Daddy! Cos as soon as she turns on the waterworks and adopts the damsel in distress persona, Daddy melts and will accede to all (well 90% of) her requests. And she knows how to play her cards very well! Switching from a cool, well behaved child who is eating all her vegetables in my presence to a whiny "manja" queen as soon as im say, off to the toilet and she is left alone with her Daddy, who just cannot bear to shovel another spoonful of the offending greens into his snivelling, theatrical daughter's mouth!!

Well, well...With her around, our life just gets more and more interesting everyday!

The grandparent gain? I wish...

Magazines always extoll the virtues of having a grandparent's influence in a child's life.

"Never underestimate the influence of grandparents as they are universally recognised as great companions who constantly shower their grandchildren with lots of love and special treats"

"Grandparents have a truckload of life experiences, and they can privide your child with a rich sense of family history"

"Your child will then have a better sense of who he is, and where he has come from. He will have roots, a history, and a sense of belonging, continuity and perspective"

Oh yes ive heard all of this and i do believe in the importance of my child being with her grandparents. And i do know that whenever she spends time with my parents, she is happy and contented because they do dote on her and indulge her shamelessly.

But why oh why is it so hard for them to be a constant feature in her life instead of being manipulated by the petty issues in their own lives, and leaving her constantly wondering where is one or the other when both were supposed to be meeting her?

Why oh why when i am stressed and overwhelmed by work and the world outside, they are not my listeners and advisors? Havent they "been there and done that" and have the hindsight to help put my issues into perspective? Instead, they carry on and on about their own inability to get along with each other and how they wish for the millionth time that each other never existed so that their misery will end. A depressing whirlpool that relentlessly sucks me in, leaving me drained of energy and feeling immensely guilty for coming into this world and "forcing" them to stay together for my sake while growing up.

Why oh why are my parents not mental and tangible support for me when i truly need them? All i need is a place for me to leave my daughter, without any fear or worries, whenever i need to go to work for a couple of hours. Even this is denied of me, and all because a dog takes priority in my old home. A cranky, mad, sick, old mutt who has refused to be tamed since the beginning of time but whom they refuse to get rid of because of "ethical reasons". Because of this mutt, i cannot bring my daugher home for fear that it will chew her up, gouge her eyes out and infect her with a virus. As a result, my daughter is robbed of precious time with her grandparents, time which could be spent more constructively and which, i am sure will be much treasured by her when she grows up and reminisces about her childhood.

The solution is simple: Send the dog to an animal shelter where it can live out the rest of its days, with visitation rights of course. But no, the dog takes priority over my daughter. It stays and she has to stay away. Case closed.

And yet, they carry on a constant tirade about not being able to see her often, and missing her, and being all depressed and upset because they havent had a chance to see her in a long time. Why oh why torture themselves when my girl can actually spend 3 entire afternoons a week with them? I really wonder if the presence of the dog provides more happiness than 3 whole afternoons a week with your own grandchild.

I am particularly miffed and upset now, all because of a phone call telling me that time was wasted roaming the streets of Singapore in a bid to get away from each other today. Time that Terelle could have spent buliding a bond with her grandparents. To me that is utter waste. Period. And it makes me absolutely sick and tired of this charade of martydom, and to what cause?? And how much more time is there left to be wasted??

I remember growing up at my Granny's house; her warm presence, her yummy meals, her cantonese rhymes and stories and just being there for me and with me. I also remember violently refusing to go home at the end of the week simply because Granny was home to me. Sadly, my daughter will never experience the intensity of these feelings, and all because her grandparents are too bitter with life, too caught up with feeling sorry for themselves and too full of pride to look beyond their grievances to let her into their lives.

I pray for my children's sake, that my husband and i will never become so embittered and resentful of each other. For it will be a painful, draining and depressing legacy to pass on and i would never ever want them to carry this burden, the way my sister and i are carrying it now.

All i need is a miracle right now.

Daddy's fat

Hubby goes for an evening workout at the gym most evenings if he comes home early. Feeling curious about her potential answer, i asked Terelle why does Daddy need to go to the gym.

I wasnt all that surprised (but totally amused by her candidness) when she answered solemnly, "Because Daddy is fat."

Once again she throws a gem of an answer in our faces. Bravo...